The New World – #3

Fiction, Voice Week '13

Inside out

“Well, Ah tell you wut. Ah ain’t gonna let it happen. Mah neighbor, just a lil ways down the road, Ah done told’um. He best stay outta my property. Ah don’t like’um! You seen the way they look at our women? Our wives, our daughters; They’re dirty, disrespectful, un-edge-ucated, and Ah just don’t see another way. They’re savages, runnin’ around like beasts, causing trouble, bringing they’re evil ways into mah neighborhood. The hell do they think they are… No sir! If he don’t keep his shit outside mah fence, Ah-ma take this here gun, and shoot his ass! I reckon they all just needa go back, and leave us good Christians be.”


Voice Week 2013, Wednesday

Word Count: 112


9 thoughts on “The New World – #3

  1. Bring on the bigot! Distrusting anything he doesn’t recognize. An honest fear for his family, his property, but no willingness to put those fears aside to understand the other fellow. Huge sense of entitlement here, viewing the natives as invaders instead of the other way around.

    Nice job on the accent, too.

  2. Very effective, but it does always bother me when the accented-bigot-stereotype comes out. I see it everywhere in fiction but rarely in reality. Bigots have all accents and all faces and come from everywhere in the world, and I sometimes feel like people forget that.

    That said, though, it works. Someone who can’t see past his own nose, and lives on anger and fear.

    1. I did think about that, and I do agree with you as well, but I was trying to hit all angles. I grew up in southern Ga, so I have seen it but I also was thinking of an earlier time in history, not particularly present day. But I’ll keep that in mind for later stories, it would be nice to not default to this type of character when trying to convey this emotions.

      1. I do get the impression that you’re going for broader brush-strokes, too, rather than character studies. And I can’t deny it gets its point across. I’ll just sit and grumble a little in a corner until I calm down. 😉

  3. I love how you’re looking at immigration. I missed yesterday’s, but just caught up and definitely felt the strength of that character. Today’s is impressively offensive. I find bigots interesting to write – hard to get into such a detesting mindset, and yet such a rich vein of character: there are so many of them still out there. You captured it well.

  4. You’ve captured this voice exceptionally well, it’s always difficult portraying characters which are often stereotyped, but you have constructed this really well, so hats off to you, it was a gripping read.

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